It's Bob Dylan Day.

I have officially declared that today is Bob Dylan day in Heidi's world. The elusive Bob Dylan turns 70 years old today. In his 70 years of life, he has so altered the world that we live in. He has been a prophetic voice during the 1960s when culture was changing. He has captured the culture of the times and challenged people to think. And still in 2011, he is still prophetic. His message lasts through the ages. Thank you, Bob, for all you have done in this world.

Happy Birthday, Bob Dylan!

Lovely reminder

I am not into keeping up with the Jones, having the newest stuff, the trendiest clothes, the royal lifestyle, or anything to do with high society. I think it is pompous, arrogant, and fake. I think it breads greed and money and not the important things in life. I don't pay attention to pop culture much, who's who, what's in, and who is dating who. (can you sense that I am a little judgemental? I am working on that). That is why I didn't get up at 4:00am to watch the royal wedding. However, I did turn on the tube at 7:00am because I kept hearing about it on MPR at 6am.

That is when I watched the first kiss. I saw how stunning Kate was, how happy William was, and how intimate the relationship is between the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. One word: Lovely. And I was converted. Then, I couldn't help not watching the whole ceremony on the Internet later in the day. Yes, I, too, was sucked into the royal wedding. Plus, the sermon was right on.

I do admit, it was so hopeful and lovely and beautiful to watch two young lovers (not so much younger than I) so excited to be together, so in love with one another, and ready for the next step on their journey together. Beautiful. What a great model and reminder for all of us to look to for how to be in relationship. Respectful, Gentle, Loving, and Protective of the one we adore. Thank you, William and Kate, for reminding us how relationships can and should be. And for reminding me that beneath money and wealth, there are other things that ring true.

Mistakes

We all make them. As intentional and deliberate as we try to live our lives, we still screw up. One of the hardest things for us to admit is when we are wrong. We want our spouse/partner to admit it. We want them to say "you were right."

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever received were from my friends Kelly and Susie. They have been great role models for me about love and relationships. Even thought our paths haven't crossed much lately, they are and will always dear to me. The piece of advice they gave me was to say to your spouse/partner that "you were right." To be able to say this is be vulnerable and open, to lift up the other person.

However, it is a bit harder to do in a professional capacity for fear of losing face, job, or people to your work. What I find interesting is the more honest and true leaders are in the mistakes they make, the more I respect them. This week, I made a bunch of mistakes, I admitted them and apologized for them. I learned and moved on. That is what is beautiful about life. We always have the opportunity to learn and grow. We can't run away from our mistakes, but face them.

Aspriations

I have all these aspirations! I want to paint my living room and dining room, make stained glass, knit and sew, make mosaics, garden, read, and more....I can't seem to find the time to do all of it. I have a to-do list a mile long at work, a to-do list a mile long at home to clean and keep things organized. I sit on a board of directors for a non-profit and a committee at my coop. Plus, I like to be around people. You could say that I am a bit of an extrovert.

This week, I have been feeling overwhelmed with it all. It is hard to choose between all of the wonderful things I want to and love doing, yet it is exhausting me. Having a husband in school is both fun because he loves what he is doing, but also very hard to be the only one cooking and cleaning, doing the laundry and keeping things organized.

I keep thinking that someday I can work part time and then be able to keep the house in order and do all the things that I love. I am trying to be mindful of not wishing that day to come too fast, but to be in the moment and enjoy this time of exploration that I can do with my time since John is studying.

Aspirations. They are a beautiful thing. Now let me find the time to make them happen.

Clean Shaven

My husband shaved his beard yesterday. He was in the bathroom for a long time, which is very unusual for him. I thought maybe he was cleaning and got very excited. I walked by and said, "What are you doing in there?" And I heard, "Shaving my beard." "Oh." It seems a little early this year to be shaving one's beard. I love beards. I find my husband sexiest when he is scruffy.

I tell John all that time that I love his beard and I am sad when he shaves his beard. He says, "while now you can look forward to the fall and winter." That is not what I want to do when spring hasn't even come yet. I know I will get used to a clean shaven John, but I do mourn the beard.

Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. If you don't mind going through a little bush to get there!
Minnie Pearl

What a great quote! It made me laugh. Many people are annoyed by going through the bush for a kis, but it is an adventure for me! I like the exploration and the picnic all year long. Alas, I will deal.

Sitting in my living room, listening to the pelting of the ice/rain drops on the window, one wishes for days of sunshine on your face, warm dirt between your toes, tan bodies, cool lake swims.

I am especially wistful for the beauty of summer when the snow begins to melt. Yet before we can get there, the melted snow reveals ugliness and brokenness of our world as it bares the trash strewn all over. As much as the snow tries to cover it up all winter, at some point it becomes bared. As much as I want to curl up and hide the parts of myself that I don't want to be seen or to be vulnerable, the covering usually melts away, barring all to the wide world.

It is usually the ugliest most broken part of me that finds ways to stuff down, to be hidden from view, but what always amazes me is that no one runs scared at the trash that lines a street or my trash lining my life. When one needs acceptance, it surrounds you in ways that cannot be imagine and brings you rays of sunshine that cuts through the cold of winter and reminds you of all the the beauty of life, of the people and experiences to be thankful for in life.

Former Places

When did I get to be old and adultish? Where I go to bed at 9pm on a Friday night? Or my favorite thing is to lay on the couch next to my husband while he sleeps next to me? Like tonight.

Two weeks ago when he was in Midland, MI, for his research work, I went out to an in store concert at the Electric Fetus with the band Tapes n Tapes. Pre-John days I used to go out to concerts all the time. I loved going to First Avenue for $15 concerts or to 400 bar for $5. I keep all my concert stubs so after I came home that night, I was looking through them remembering who I would go with to see a certain band or singer. I was thinking about the time Bryce, Mel, Sarah and I went to see Lucinda Williams and the antics that came of that evening. Let's just say, we ended up in the hospital till 3 am with Bryce who broke his collarbone due to him running into me.

At the Tapes n Tapes instore, I kept looking around and thinking, I don't fit in here anymore. I love music, but is this my place still? I felt so far removed and distant from that past life. I loved the indie rock/alt-country scene in the twin cities. I loved going to see the Jayhawks or Mason Jennings or others. I loved the heat and excitement of the crowd. I loved watching all the heads nodding to the music and people singing along. I loved the Minneapolis icons like Paul Westerburg. I loved being in the music know. Now, I am in the know not. During that evening I kept thinking about how my person hood used to be focused on and tied up in knowing the in band at the moment.

When did this shift? I like knowing about new bands, but it isn't as important to me. It doesn't define me like it used to. Is that what makes me not fit in to that scene anymore? That life doesn't revolve around music. I enjoyed being at the in store, but something didn't feel right.

Music is something that grounds me, that gives words to emotions, gives words to experiences, I used to be so at home and would find community at music shows. As a 31 year old and even as a 20 year old, I knew that the community was surfacy, but now as a 31 year old, I do crave community in a different and more engaging way. The gift of friends with depth and people that know you and care about you is so much better than the beat and the dancing of a concert. A different rhythm grounds me now so I need a different rhythm for community.